Common Sexual Issues

Sexual difficulties can look different for everyone. These are some common issues people experience, but it’s not exhaustive. You might relate to some and it may help you see yourself or your situation reflected. But remember, every experience is unique, and yours may be different.

    • Low or no sexual desire

    • Desire that feels “too high” or hard to manage

    • Mismatched desire in your relationship

    • Feeling disconnected from sexual desire

    • Difficulty getting or maintaining erections

    • Difficulty becoming physically aroused

    • Performance anxiety

    • Feeling awkward or uncomfortable about sex

    • Low sexual confidence

    • Body image concerns affecting intimacy

    • Difficulty communicating sexual needs

    • Sexual shame

    • Not knowing what turns you on

    • Feeling out of touch with your sexual self

    • Difficulty with sexual communication

    • Sexual initiation difficulties

    • Feeling disconnected from your body during intimacy

    • Difficulty identifying or communicating boundaries

    • Pain during sex

    • Tightness or difficulty with penetration

    • Vaginismus

    •  Difficulty reaching orgasm

    • Orgasms that feel infrequent or unreliable

    • Ejaculating sooner than you’d like

    • Delayed ejaculation

    • Compulsive masturbation

    • Pornography use that feels excessive

    • Sexual behaviours that feel hard to control

    • Navigating non-monogamy or diverse relationship structures

    • Exploring or questioning your sexuality or gender and intimacy

    • Exploring kinks or fetishes

    • Difficulties with sex after past trauma

    • Feeling triggered, numb, or shut down during intimacy

    • Sexual changes after illness, medical treatment, or cancer

What can you expect in sex therapy?

Sex therapy, also known as Psychosexual Therapy, is a type of talking therapy that focuses on issues related to sex, intimacy, sexuality, and relationships.

In the first few sessions we focus on building a bigger picture the different factors contributing to the difficulties you’re experiencing, and your therapeutic goals. This understanding will allow us to guide our therapeutic process more effectively, ensuring that it aligns with your unique needs and goals.

Following that, we will engage in a therapeutic process tailored to your specific context, which we identified in the earlier sessions. This process will often involve gentle exercises for you to try at home, helping you build new tools and skills to address the difficulties you’re experiencing. These exercises are also focussed on supporting you in connecting with yourself, your body, and your sexual needs.

What are the effects of sex therapy?

At the end of clients’ therapy journeys, they often describe 3 common themes:

Improvements in their sexual function - such as increased desire, stronger or more reliable erections, enhanced orgasms, or reduced sexual pain.

Increased understanding - of what contributed to the sexual issue, their needs, relationship patterns, and helpful strategies.

Sexual empowerment - feeling more confident in knowing own sexual desires, feeling more able to communicate needs and boundaries.

Testimonials

  • "Working with Ester has been transformative. Her expertise, support and compassion helped me work through vaginismus and ultimately experience pain free sex, something I wasn’t sure I would ever achieve. She created a safe, encouraging environment where I could heal at my own pace. I’m truly grateful for her guidance having grown through shame to a sense of pride in my progress."

    Previous client working through vaginismus

  • "Thoughtfully sensitive and calm are some of the fantastic qualities Ester brings to the table. As a therapist she builds trust quickly yet authentically and offers helpful advice and guidance to help you overcome the issues you face. She is very supportive and patient."

    Previous client working through erectile dysfunction

  • "Ester was very learned and professional from the outset. She puts you at ease while putting together an understanding of your specific issues. Her therapeutic intervention has allowed me to view the topics of sex & relationships from angles which I wouldn't have even been aware of otherwise. No doubt they will be very useful in the future. In particular, she encouraged me to be kinder to myself, as a person."

    Previous client working through understanding of sexual wants and needs

  • "I worked with Ester to deal with areas of my life in which I felt blocked and unhappy. By the end of our time, I felt much more able to clearly ask for the things I wanted and equally importantly to say no to the things I didn’t. It was an overt worthwhile experience."

    Previous client working through low desire

  • "I began to work with Ester at the beginning of a new relationship and felt a hugely positive impact on our work together. Ester helped me untangle the mess of some new challenges I wasn't aware I carried in and also has given me the tools to both manage and reduce these challenges long term. I felt Ester created a non-judgmental space for me to explore these problems and my relationship improved exponentially both during and after our work together."

    Previous client working through sexual shame

  • "My partner and I attended therapy sessions with Ester over a period of about 6 months. We wanted to engage with therapy because we had found ourselves out of alignment with our intimate relationship, and we needed help trying to navigate this. When we started sessions, I think it's fair to say that intimacy had become something we both felt quite uncomfortable with and had avoided for some time." (continued on next slide).

    Previous clients working through intimacy issues - part 1

  • "Ester immediately made us feel so at ease, and there was a sense of trust right from the beginning, not only because she is so un-judgemental, she is also incredibly professional, and it is clear she is very very good at what she does. Ester took the time to get to know us and what we wanted out of therapy, and then she very skillfully made us feel comfortable enough to open up to her." (continued on next slide)

    Previous clients working through intimacy issues - part 2

  • "She showed us that intimacy comes in so many different forms, and that what matters is that we are connected to each other and know how to communicate well. Ester taught us so many lessons, and guided us through a difficult period with kindness, empathy and a sense of safety in sharing our private lives. Because of our time with Ester, we are a stronger couple who are much more well equipped to navigate intimacy, and who have a much better understanding of each other. Thank you Ester, we are so very grateful to you."

    Previous clients working through intimacy issues - part 3

  • "Ester is, hands-down, the best therapist I've ever had. I saw her for about 18 months and she was great with issues relating to kink, autism, and polyamory - I've experienced other therapists struggle with all of those. When I said I was keen to have concrete take-aways and homework between sessions, Ester delivered." (continued on next slide)

    Previous client working through difficulties relating to kink, autism, and polyamory - part 1

  • "And when I wanted my partner to join, I was so impressed with how Ester treated them with such care and understanding - she handled their shut downs and their sensitivity to criticism constructively and with deep empathy. My partner has struggled to find that level of care and understanding from any other therapist."

    Previous client working through difficulties relating to kink, autism, and polyamory - part 2

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